It seems that things are moving. maybe forward, maybe backwards or sideways... Who really knows? Standing in tree pose contemplating my forward fold I recall, remember and contemplate all that has brought me to this place. Emotionally mind you.
I vaguely recall a crash. But the death drop that 'they' speak of eludes me. I recall newscasts heralding the end. I was temping at the financial firm on that fateful October day when the markets crashed out. Needless to say that was my first and last day working there. No, for me it seems like someone pushed pause. One day I was studying to launch my career and the next it was done. It seems to me like a snow storm. Sure when it begins some people may continue through their day but after awhile the streets vacate and all is quiet. All the people on the street stop what they were doing and move indoors leaving an awkward stillness.
I wont dwell on that, after all I believe that there has been enough of that. Progressing into triangle pose now. This was my new year's resolution, to nourish mind body soul. I know how that sounds by the way. I've been entirely too stressed for the last three years. Telling myself to toughen up. To suck it up and deal with it. I took my dreams and punched them in the lip, tossed them into the garage closet and numbly ignored them. I went from fearless to fearful. A regression that brought me to a place of utter confusion as I think about the four jobs that I have held this year. Four W-2s. Hah! Those liars who tell us that you find one company and grow with it for statistically 5-8 years. Hah!
I must say that one of those W-2s changed my life and another one saved it. A friend of mine said that we change when we can no longer go on as we are. She was correct. Another friend, also very wise said "Hey, want to work on this campaign with me?" YES! Now I know what you're thinking! Your thinking not another one of those crazy kids. Trying to change everything by pitching ignorant fits and wielding witty picket signs. While a few signs were witty I don't believe this of myself but who knows maybe I am.
Regardless here I am in my Mum's living room, on the verge of the 25 without a stitch of calm in me. I haven't yet found my career. I remain in love with journalism, I've begun cheating on it with politics and look there as education enters into the mix. Its a torrid love triangle let me tell you. Torn between three loves and not sure which to choose. Ridiculous.
All this is why 2011 will be the year of adventure for me. I'm going to start a retirement plan, begin paying attention to my investments (quite an adventure). Then there is my infatuation with yoga mixed with my utter lack of balance. I'm a little too type A and anything that will make me more zen and less flustered is a miracle in itself. Welcome to my adventure, lets hope that it proves amusing. And maybe hope that it works out too.
